Saturday, February 11, 2006

Isolated

When I did that meme back in December it really made me think about a few things. But this question and the answer I came up with (What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? A close friend here in MN) hit me hard. I have been here almost a year and have not made a close friend here. I still keep in touch with my best friend in Kansas City, but it just isn't the same. And my husband just does not want to listen to me talk about some things. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and I am very open with him, but we are not one of those couples that need just each other. My parents are like that, they don't have any close friends. But sometimes I need a woman's perspective on things, or someone to go see chick flicks with.

Now this situation is my fault. I haven't put myself out there so I could find a friend. The reasons for that are many and mostly stupid. Such as, I'm busy, or I need time alone to unwind, or my stupid insecurities (bad experiences in grade school with friends, scared me for life!). Needless to say, I have isolated myself. Plus it doesn't help that the things I enjoy are inherently solo activities (reading, knitting, running). Now these things can be done in a group, but they are more solitary than say, playing on a soccer team, or volunteering somewhere. Added to all this is the pressure to study for the CPA exam. I tell myself that I will socialize when I have passed the darn thing, but who knows how long that will take!

So here is what I have decided to do. I am claiming Tuesday nights as MY NIGHT. I can do anything fun that I want to do on that night. I have already attended a Bible Study at my church and I might go to the knit night at Borealis Yarns. If something comes up on a Tuesday that is urgent or if a better activity is going to happen over the weekend I can change MY NIGHT. I need to start taking care of myself and my needs in this area.

So, if you are from this area and see me about town, please, say hi! I might be a little shy (insecurities popping up again!), but I want to get to know you! I just hope I don't talk too much, or share too much info, or come across as overbearing or stupid.

Oh, I almost forgot. My wonderful "Get Rebecca a Friend" Plan will probably be put on hold because my husband hit a deer with his car! Well, to be fair, the deer hit him, but no matter who hit who, the car is still totaled (he is fine though, the deer, not so much) and we will be down to one vehicle until we can find another one. FUN!

5 comments:

  1. It is hard. I have made better friends now that I knit. But I am just not one who does indepth friendships, I am very much a lone wolf. But I really do need the interaction with other women and do so enjoy the knitting with others. Hope you find that niche.

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  2. Let me know when you go to Borealis, I might have to join you!

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  3. I can totally relate to what you are saying. Finding good girl-friends can be hard. (our lives are so busy and our society makes it so easy to interact little). Hope you enjoy your night. That sounds like a great idea!
    From someone a little northwest from you,
    Michelle

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  4. I like the idea of your get a friend plan. Good luck!

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  5. I have been up north for about 18 yrs without a goodfriend. I have a few up here but not of the quality that makes them a true friend like (goodhearted, very open and listens to you instead of you getting intruppted because it's all about them). I don't put myself out there, that is for sure and most girls thought I would be a snob (someone was honest enough to tell me)they realized I was fun and easy to talk to! I kinda like having my freedom and my husband & I are always doing stuff on his days off.Look forward to that. My best friends are still my best friends but they are in the south. I'm up here with no family just my sweet husband. Didn't mean to blog on your blog but had to share with ya. Found you through Knit-Whit's blog, she is totally real and cool, that is why her blog is my favorite.

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