I've had some time to cope and briefly discussed this situation with my husband and I am feeling much better now. What really cemented it for me was the most beautiful double rainbow I have ever seen. It reminded me that God always keeps his promises. I don't think that God is promising that I will be able to be a stay at home mom, but He does promise that He works for the good of those who love him. Romans 8:28. Whatever God has planned for us it will be the best thing.