Dread

Exactly a month from today I go back to work. Actually by the time I get this posted it will probably be less than a month. I am so loving being a stay at home mom. It is so hard for me to write about this. I cry every time I even think about it. Both my husband and I would love it if I could stay home with Audrey, but no matter how creative we get with finances there is just no way. I really do feel like my place is in the home. I can't believe that God would give me such a strong desire to be at home if it will never happen.

While it is hard for me to think about going back to work, I do have a sense of peace about it. God arranged the situation so I would know for sure that I should return to work. The position I held before I got pregnant involved travel. And that travel could be at short notice and frequent. I always said that I would change jobs once I had kids, but I knew I wouldn't find another job with the same salary and security. Well, a couple months after I got pregnant I was offered a position at work doing something that I had wanted to do for 5 years. This new postion is so great, and it has much less travel. Two times a year instead of possibly once a month. So that solved the job issue.

I can't believe that God would open up this golden opportunity if I wasn't supposed to stay at work. I feel like God is telling me to do this job for a while, but to not give up hope. So far in my life God has been pretty clear on what direction he wants me to take. I may not always like it, but I know without a doubt that he has what is best for me in mind.

Romans 8:28